A Desolate Land by Stefan Su


It was just me, alone in the world. Their is no one to talk to. It, the world ending flash, all happened so fast; I can only the beginning and end because of the serial position effect. First their was a blinding light and then it was just me. This traumatic event was then buried in the Id of my mind. The world is so much more quiet without people and I have become used to the silence through sensory adapation.I now suffer from anxiety because I am afraid I may die alone and end the human race. I fear that I may get a Psychosomatic disorder.

Their has been some good in being alone. For example: I am not forced to follow social norms and am free to do as I please. My need for achievement has greatly increased because I have intrinsic motivation to do what i feel should have been done by the human race. As a result I have started to take up more hobbies and practice them all daily. This is also disappointing however because their is no one to give me extrinsic motivation, but then also overjustification can't occur. My skill in these hobbies are improved my neurons' plasticity. This makes it so that my my neurons have smaller synapses and less neurons to send neurotransmitters to. I have more of an inner locus of control because I have no one else to blame and depend on but myself. I feel that I commit less confirmation bias because their is no one to agree with me. I start to forget the world from where i once came. The new memories I make create retroactive interference when I try and remember what it was like before I was left alone. I struggle to remember despite the all the retrieval cues I find. I guess I didn't chunk my memories so that I could remember properly. All the classical conditioning I learned in the past are now being forgotten because of extinction, from the absence of unconditioned stimulus.

My intelligence has also grown as a result of me being alone because I have to figure out how to do things myself. I wouldn't be able to find out my IQ because their is no one else to average my scores with in a normal distribution. My semantic memory stores all the new information that I learn. I try and solve problems using divergent thinking to overcome functional fixedness that plagued most of human society, that couldn't get over their perceptual sets. My thought and opinions are not affected by conformity or judgement by others who would perform the fundamental attribution error. My ego has become one with my Id and i have no ego defense mechanisms because their is no one to judge me. My dreams during REM are filled with my desire to be with others, but when I wake up I enter my living nightmare of desolation.

I often wonder what kind of legacy I will leave behind if my DNA is useless. I wonder how the nurture of my new situation has affected me more than my nature. My days alone seemed to be completely different until I fell back into my circadian rhythm. I feel extremely depressed all the time.

"Time to wake up you have school!" I wake to the voice of my mom and get ready for school.